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David Letterman’s Top Ten List for April 9, 1998:
Top Ten Accountant Pick-Up Lines:

10. You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.
9. Please, baby, let me withhold you.
8. Technically, having sex with me is a charitable gift.
7. In my office, ‘I.R.S.’ stands for “I’m Really Sexy.”
6. If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
5. You’re entitled to a $5000 tax break on your municipal bond income…now let’s do it.”
4. Let’s out a 1040 - you’re a 10, and I’m 40.
3. You’re the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.
2. Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
1. Nice assets.